Never Say Never
by OpheliacAngel
Summary: Getting to know Dean meant getting to know Sam better, it also made her susceptible to her own needs and wants. She never expected that she would have to put up a fight to keep him in their lives. Written for Rare Pair Fest as a pinch hit for morrezela. Jess/Dean/Sam Stanford AU.


**Title: **Never Say Never

**Author: **OpheliacAngel

**Pairings: **Jess/Dean/Sam

**Genres: **Romance/Family

**Rating: **Teen

**Summary: **Getting to know Dean meant getting to know Sam better, it also made her susceptible to her own needs and wants. She never expected that she would have to put up a fight to keep him in their lives.

**A/N: **Written for Rare Pair Fest as a pinch hit for morrezela. Thanks for all the awesome prompts, I have been dying to write Jess/Dean/Sam for a while and you have given me the chance. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

If there was one thing in her life that Jessica Moore was sure of, it was that she loved Sam Winchester so completely that she couldn't imagine a life without him. She wanted to marry him and have his kids someday. Maybe not someday soon, since she was focused on obtaining her teaching degree and then settling down into her first job, but definitely soon enough. She had been sheltered for most of her life and this was finally her time to be independent. Of course, being independent didn't mean that she had to turn down dating; in fact, it was the exact opposite. Being with Sam made her feel grown up in a way she never had before, even more so than going away to school. Living with Sam also had her feeling like a kid at times, but every moment with Sam was a good one. He loved her cooking and she loved his passions and ambitions and his adorably dimpled smile.

The one thing she wasn't quite sure of was Dean, specifically how she felt about him.

She knew she loved him, but she didn't know how deep that love ran, or how Dean would feel about it and how he felt about her. She knew that Sam loved Dean, loved Dean so much but was afraid to express it, not because he was ashamed - Sam was the farthest thing from ashamed of his bisexuality or pan-sexuality, whichever it was - but because he feared rejection. She supposed that rejection wasn't the whole issue either, but rejection from the first person he had ever loved, from the big brother he had always looked up to.

It was sad and it broke her heart on a daily basis, when she let it.

Most of the time she lay in bed at night thinking about what she wanted out of life. Sure, she wanted Sam, but sometimes Sam hardly seemed like Sam without Dean there. She would laugh or almost come to tears whenever they talked about growing up, join Dean in on teasing Sam to get him to lighten up, and sometimes she would go in the guest room and talk to Dean alone, who rarely ever seemed to sleep, talk to him about Sam and about herself whenever Dean coaxed answers out of her.

He seemed really happy for the two of them, perfectly fine not intervening more than he did.

It wasn't enough.

Jess would lie in bed in the mornings too - on the days she had off - and think about the missing piece in her life. It was Dean. As much as she tried to tell herself it wasn't, he was the answer. He was sweet and charming and selfless, tough and stubborn yet adorable and vulnerable when he least wanted to be. She loved the way he would look at her, with that glint in his eye that meant he was up to no good and that smirk on his face, a telltale sign that he knew he was flirting with his little brother's girlfriend and he didn't give a damn.

He would never cross the line, not when it came to Sam's happiness, but more and more she found herself wanting him to, as selfish as it made her. Would she really be cheating if she forced him, somehow, to stay? Would she really be betraying Sam if she kissed him, hate Dean if he kissed her back?

* * *

"Dean... he needs love."

She was never one much for beating around the bush, and maybe that was another part of why Sam loved her so much. She knew with Sam that it wasn't about jealously towards Dean, fighting for attention. Sam had enough love in him to give to both of them. She really thought Dean needed more love than she did anyway. He seemed so much like a lost puppy sometimes, hovering outside the door for some food and a nice warm blanket.

Sam put down the book he was reading and looked at her, openly and honestly.

"He seems so lost whenever he comes by. And I know he thinks that _I _don't want him here, that _we _don't want him, but that's not true, Sam. If you don't want him here then fine, but I never said anything like that..."

"Whoa whoa whoa," Sam stopped her, putting his hands on her arms, the look on his face serious but not serious enough. "That's not what I want, Jess. That's not what I want at all. Hell, I really wish he would stay, but no amount of convincing...," he cut himself off, exasperated, running a hand through his hair. "My brother he's..." She didn't understand why it was so hard for Sam to talk about him, but she had to listen now and at least try to be supportive. "He's a loner and he's not used to _this_. We've never stayed in one place for long when we were kids, so Dean doesn't even know what to make of any of this."

"And you do? What's the difference? Didn't you two grow up together?"

He was trying to smooth it all over, she could tell, but he wasn't going to get away with it.

"Yeah, but that's not what I mean. I've always had bigger plans for myself, always wanted a place to settle down but Dean... he's not like that. He's had it beat into his head for so long that he doesn't deserve to have a life of his own, that being on his own is what he's meant to do. He wouldn't... appreciate this."

Jess crossed her arms and stared at him unflinchingly, "And how do you know? Do you think you know so much about your brother that you won't even try?"

"Jess," he says, reaching for her physically and emotionally and failing in both. "I didn't even know you cared about him."

"Well, I do," she told him, trying to hold back tears, convincing herself she didn't want to punch Sam right in the jaw. She had seen Dean enough times bloody and broken, nursing a high fever or curled up in bed, miserable when he didn't know she was looking. She would put her lips on his forehead and tuck him in when he was sleeping, nurse him back to health with more confidence yet increased agony each and every time without him even knowing it. She took care of him, without him asking her to. Why didn't she have the right to want him to stay? "I should considering every time he comes by something is broken, or he's sick as a dog. Why shouldn't I be worried? Aren't you? Are you that used to seeing your brother like that that you think it's normal, or right?"

"No, I don't. I'm just used to it. Dean's always wanted to go it alone and I've always backed off. He hates being taken care of, hates being the center of attention. You try to help him in some way and he'll just push you away. It's aggravating if you've put up with it for as long as I have. He has no sense of self-worth and I don't think he ever will. I hate to say it, Jess, but he's a lost cause. I begged him to come with me but he wouldn't, he's taken care of me his whole life and he thought I would be better off without him. And maybe we are, maybe we're just better off alone, in our own lives..."

Before Sam could finish Jess was out of bed and slamming the door behind her.

She was aggravated, angry enough to withhold sex and all other niceties for a week or more until Sam smartened up. This was his brother he was talking about, the brother he was saying was a lost cause was the one who had raised him, made Sam into who he was today.

Jess might have been jealous of and angry at Dean at first, for intruding into their lives, but she knew he was a good person and she wanted to help him in any way that she could. It was the least she could do for Dean not being jealous of her, always apologizing for intruding where he thought he wasn't wanted, always there to rave about her cookies or let her rant to him about something completely idiotic and pointless.

So what if Jess wanted Dean. She deserved to _want._

* * *

It had been two months since she had seen Dean last, a week since her argument with Sam.

Dean hadn't called, he never did, just showed up on their doorstep at unexpected times, an arm wrapped around his waist or held against the door or slick with blood. She always rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically, it was just a way to lighten up the mood a little, but she never asked questions. Dean always seemed happy to see her anyway, giving her that huge, immensely charming trademark grin of his and still trying to sneak a glance under her shirt after all this time.

She _always _let him in, no matter how late it was or how tired she was, no matter how angry it made her that Dean would never stay, never more than a few days. Never giving her time to convince him after she got him well again.

"Hey-a, Jess. Mind if I come in for a bit?"

He always asked that, even when she already considered their home as Dean's own. Dean had been visiting them for the past year and she and Sam had been together for three and a half, bumping into each other in and dating during their second semester. She already considered Dean to be family, and with a year gone by something needed to change and soon.

She put a big smile on her face for him, noticing that he was favoring his left leg and that his hand was out of sight, as if holding the wall in support. Inside, she felt like anything but smiling. The only reason Dean would ever stop by was if he was hurt, or sick enough that he should be put on strict bed rest and not driving most likely at least three states over with little sleep just to come see his brother.

Yep, she has had enough of this.

"Course you can, Dean. There's lasagna cooking in the oven and it'll be coming out in half an hour. You can sit down at the table if you'd like. Sam should be home soon."

"Thanks, Jess."

She stood out of the way and winced as Dean tried but mostly failed to hide his limp as he entered their dorm, and she hovered close to him in case he should fall. He seemed disoriented enough not to notice what she was doing, or at least trying to do. Sam believed that she knew next to nothing about his brother, but Jess was a quick study and managed to learn quite a lot about Dean during his short visits throughout the past year.

She knew he shirked away from any form of comfort or help, noticed how he always diverted questions away from himself, watched the way he held himself, so tightly, so in control as if he would break and ruin everyone's lives in the process.

Jess sighed, wanting to pull out the chair at the table for him but not daring to. She really hated this sometimes, not being able to do anything but offer Dean shelter, food and a warm bed to crash in for a night or two. It wasn't enough, she wasn't getting what _she _needed.

She turned her back, forcing herself not to watch Dean sit down lest she lose it completely. She still heard the small whimper though, the one that Dean felt he needed to keep hidden. It broke her heart, but she let her heart break and grabbed three beers out of the fridge. Sam would be back from his class soon, and she knew with all her heart that he would be happy to see Dean.

As much as she wished for it not to be, Dean would most likely be gone tomorrow. She had to do something.

For the moment, "Beer?"

He nodded and she popped the cap off and handed it to him, leaning against the counter and watching as he drank it down in mere seconds. She offered another and he took it, without suspecting anything. Tonight would be the night, and for it to be she needed to get his tightly kept barriers down.

She was fine with taking care of him still but she needed more, and she wouldn't take no for an answer.

* * *

Sam had come home late, halfway through dinner, exhausted and intending not to eat until he saw Dean, and then his face lit up like a dozen fireworks erupting all at once. "Hey, man. I was wondering when you would stop by again." He dropped his books on the table and engulfed his brother in a hug, and a suffocating one at that. Jess should know too, she had been on the receiving end of Winchester hugs many a time.

She smiled, happy to see Sam at peace once more as he sat down to the side of Dean, digging into his food as he excitedly told his brother about his classes, his friends and his goals. Dean was beaming too, as if all was set right in the world simply by being with Sam again. She threw in a word here or there but mostly she didn't butt in, too content to watch them go into that all too familiar brother mode again.

When dinner was finished Sam went off in his room to study, and Dean offered to help clear the table but luckily shut down the first time she refused. With a bad leg, he certainly didn't need to be walking back and forth or standing for a long period of time. God only knew what he had put himself through just to get here.

She gave him his fifth beer and had a second one herself, steeling herself as she drank it down.

"You gonna let me take a look at your leg?"

He withdrew on himself then, as if he could completely hide or become invisible or something. She was a helluva lot tougher than that though. "Aw, Jess. You don't have to. S' not that bad."

She put down the bottle and approached him slowly, "Let me at least see it for a minute. My mother's a nurse, remember?"

He nodded and made a move to draw his jeans up but Jess stopped him, laying a hand on his arm. "Come into the bathroom and let me see it under better lighting. Then we can see where we can go from there." She said _we _instead of _I _because she didn't want to isolate him in any way. He had to know that this was his decision too, otherwise she would never get through to him.

Dean nodded again and allowed Jess to help him up, but not to steady him or let Dean lean on her even slightly as they made their way to the bathroom. She had him strip off his jeans and sit down on the toilet and she examined his leg right then and there, not taking no for an answer even when Dean flinched away. It wasn't as bad as it could be, but it was still swollen and heavily bruised. She ran her fingers lightly over the set of recent stitches there and jumped when Dean laid a hand on her own.

"Don't worry 'bout me," he said, smiling softly at her, his face tense with pain. "All you gotta worry about is Sammy. As long as you're takin' good care of Sammy you're okay in my book. As long as the both of you are happy I don't have to worry."

She smiled gently at him even as tears started pouring down her cheeks. Goddammit, she was tougher than this. Yet here she was, kneeling before him in the bathroom, crying like a little girl.

"It doesn't have to be that way, Dean. Don't you know that? We want you here, the two of us. Sam isn't ready to tell me that but I know he doesn't want to be without his big brother anymore. Stay, Dean. Stay for me," she begged, she pleaded, she laid her mouth on his own to make him see, kissed him until she was about of breath but not until she knew he was kissing her back.

He wanted her too, but he thought he couldn't have her. Stubborn, stupid Dean.

He already had her.

She helped him down and they lay on the cold tile floor together, Jess' arms wrapped around his good leg, tears soaking his skin. Dean ran a hand through her hair as if he needed to comfort her instead of the other way around. She bit her lip, hating herself for not being stronger, hating Dean for knowing he would be gone in the morning, or as soon as she fell asleep.

"I need you, Dean. I love you, so much. I know you're thinking that this won't work, but we're willing to try it. We want to help you, Dean." She kept on saying _we _because she couldn't bear the thought of Sam not wanting this, of not wanting Dean in their lives. He had always given into her, always giving her what she wanted but was Dean too much to ask for this time? Was he...?

"She's right, dude."

Her head shot up and through her tears she saw Sam standing in the doorway, looking down at the two of them with such love and understanding. She suddenly realized that Sam wasn't mad at all, that they all could really be a family after wishing for it so hard she thought she would implode. Sam knelt down beside the both of them, one hand holding Jess' and the other running a hand through his brother's hair.

Dean shied away - she was already tragically used to the sight of it - but he had nowhere to go but farther away from the door. Sam was blocking his only way out and she knew more than anything that it was intentional, that his larger frame was coming in handy after all.

"This is the only place you need to be. You don't have to go it alone anymore. You belong here, buddy." He didn't try to touch Dean again and neither did Jess, who looked up at Sam with such hope and love for him that she could barely contain it.

"Maybe...," Dean whispered, as if not wanting to hear the words himself, "maybe I can try." He laid his head back against the edge of the tub, "I'm so goddamn tired, Sammy."

Sam and Jess scooped him up into their arms before he could protest, manhandling him into their large enough for three - she realized - bed and wrapping themselves around him, squishing him into the middle and holding him as he broke down. Jess shushed him and smoothed back his hair, and Sam tried to calm him down by telling him stories from when they were kids, stories that made Dean laugh through the tears and eventually fall asleep.

"We have him now," Sam told her. "And we're never letting him go."

Jess promised, "Never."

**FIN**


End file.
